Saturday, 3 December 2011


Whoever came up with the wishlist is a genius. It takes the whole Veruca Salt "I want it now" bratty demand and makes it into a gentle request; whenever you have the time, this list of things I don't need but really want will be sitting here waiting until you have some spare cash and you'll give me so much pleasure buying me something off it. Christmas, birthdays, no need to worry "will she like this?", of course she will, it's off her wishlist!

So here's my wishlist. I presume I'll have to revisit it every few weeks days to update it, cross off impulse additions, and add new Must-Haves.

1. A Designer Bag - You see, the fact that I don't even have a bag or a designer in mind just shows I don't merit one. I just want one. I just want to throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, pick up my bag and say "Yeah, this cost a months mortgage, more than my entire wedding outfit including the ring, but I just wear it casual-like". I wanna be like Laura from and have them in every colour. I won't be precious with it either, no keeping it "for good", it'll have baby puke on it and pen marks in it and a smell of rotten apple, and all that will indicate that I take designer stuff for granted, doncha know! It'll have to be a classic design, one that'll never date.

2. A video camera for blogging. My new "thing". I tend to get engrossed in one hobby, only to discard it a month or so later. Bye-bye sewing, crochet, papercraft, baking, jigsaws etc. Each one needs specific materials that you need to buy, then once you have them the intense " I must be doing that" feeling disappears. Maybe it was the shopping all along that had my interest. I do sit down with "the Argos" and read it cover to cover, pen in hand, marking garden furniture, UV nail lamps and Sylvanian Families with great verve, only to forget all about them as soon as I reach the index. Anyone want a secondhand sewing machine / massive zip jigsaw case. (According to my husband after he bought me the case and the jigsaws, apparently that particular hobby is beloved of many with low IQs. Or maybe be-baby-brained mothers???)

3. Kindle. I haven't had much chance to read recently, as I'm normally breastfeeding / changing nappies / sleeping as soon as I sit down anywhere for more than 3 minutes. Two young kids in nappies, demand  request breastfeeding and trying to paint my nails really takes it out of me, so I've little time for reading. I'm great for borrowing books, buying books and starting books, but after a few nights of "who was this character again?" "I thought she died in chapter 2" etc, and I lose interest. So a Kindle would sort me out. If I spent all that money I'd have to make proper "reading time" every day to justify it.

4. Aah, new shoes. High heels that'll look amazing and never get worn. The old me would have worn these to a McDonald's Drive-Thru... Maybe in 2014 when I have an evening date with my husband I'll fish them out of the back of the wardrobe and say "Oh yeah, the Louboutins I got when the two boys were in nappies, what was I thinking?" They'll look dated. They'll never get worn. Cross them off the wishlist. (DISCLAIMER: Louboutins are never an option, funds won't allow it, but this is a WISHlist, before you start thinking of me as spoilt)

5. Hmmm, can't think of a fifth option. I actually need a new Seche Vite (see my Nails post) but I've only lost mine, it's probably in the bathroom, I just haven't bothered to look for it.
Or... I did fancy that box of 10 Disney Princess dolls I saw on the Toy Show (an Irish institution - advertising toys to children in a recession, only we would keep that up). But saddo that I am, I'd keep them in the box to preserve their value and hock them on Ebay in 2020 to pay for my son's college education. Oh sorry, I forgot, I'm going to win the lottery for the college funds. I'll use the Ebay money for some real Louboutins then.

In reality Santa's come early to me this year, the camera I ordered last week arrived this morning and my mom gave me the cash for it today. Oh yeah, the spirit of Christmas is truly alive in this household. I won't be posting gratuitous pictures of my kids, not until I'm really aware of how much I can exploit them for money, but I will give you a sample of our decorations that got put up (is that correct grammar?) this evening.

Those tulips will be there until the last of the water evaporates and we wonder were they yellow or white originally.

Santa's had too much prosecco already.Think the black thing in the foreground is an old vest...

The prosecco just made me sleepy; gone are the days I revel in a heady buzz, it's like the ultimate breastfeeder's guilt trip:
Breastfeeding mother: I'll just have one glass, remind myself of the old days
Prosecco: Go right on ahead, but the only kick you'll be getting out of me is one in the lardarse.
Breastfeeding mother: Lovely...cold, refreshing, a fine bouquet... is that a twinge of cystitis in the ureter?
Prosecco: Yup.
Breastfeeding mother: Think I'll stick to water, honey, not hitting me like it used to.
Breastfeeding father: Lovely, I'll finish the bottle.

So that's the end of my wishlist. If you happen to be really rich and a huge fan of my blog, I'm a size UK 39 for the Louboutins and I'd prefer the Kindle in white, thanks.

No comments:

Post a Comment

A lovely comment makes my day, please share your thoughts! xx