Friday, 13 January 2012

"Attachment" Parenting our 6 month old


Noah is 6 months old now. He can almost sit up unaided. He never cries. In general he spends most of the day touching me. At home, in the living room we're either sitting on the sofa or the floor, him on my lap, interacting with Charlie/ playing with a toy / breastfeeding / sleeping. If I'm going to the toilet he comes too, sitting on my lap. In the kitchen if I've to cook/clean/pour a glass of juice, he's on my left hip and I do it all with my right hand, unless I need two hands, then I'll put him in his high chair for a few minutes. Up to about 5 minutes of him sitting there, being handed wooden spoons and spatulas to eat and drop on the ground, me speed-cooking/cleaning, singing and dancing all the while to make him laugh and he's looking to get back into my arms. If I have to tidy something/ change Charlie's nappy, I'll lie Noah on the floor beside me while I do it, and within about 60 seconds he's looking to get back into my arms.

Today I put him on the sofa with a crust of bread while I sewed a seam in Barry's trousers. Three minutes max. Right now he's standing on my left on the sofa, bouncing up and down while I type one-handed... I'm about to make hot chocolate with him on my hip in the kitchen. I'm up and down so frequently I don't bother with a sling. I went out to the washing line for about five minutes this morning, leaving Noah in his high-chair in the kitchen. Charlie entertained him while he shouted for me. Today we walked to the bank, fed ducks and shopped, a round trip of about two hours, with Noah in the sling. If we take a trip in the car obviously he'll be in his seat in the back. I don't use a buggy at all with him yet, may not at all. Sometimes he jigs around on my lap so much I know he wants to explore, so I'll put him on his tummy/back on the ground with a toy. A minute or two only. In the evenings we eat either at the table / on the sofa, Noah on my lap or Barry's. Barry will gladly hold him in the evenings if I want a break to have a bath / nap / blog upstairs for an hour or so. All night he will either be breastfeeding / cuddling me or Barry. I'd say there's probably between 15-30 minutes max in his waking hours when he's in "free space". When he naps in the day I'll either hold him on my lap, as he's usually still breastfeeding in his sleep, or I'll make a nest out of a blanket on the sofa, and spend the time cuddling / feeding / playing with Charlie.

If someone's visiting or we're visiting someone, and they hold Noah, I'm always keeping an eye for his cues that he wants to come back to me. He'll twist towards me and repeatedly fling himself towards me, smiling and calling me with arms outstretched. If I ignore him he'll get more and more agitated, and start to cry after a minute or two. The minute he's back in my arms he's all smiles again, turning and "chatting" to whoever just held him.

This is how I like it. I've never made him get used to being away from me, and our separations are minimal. Once he's walking he'll go off to explore, and come back to the safety of my arms when he needs to. Our separations will be longer as he grows older, but for now, these last few months he's still my baby. He lived in me, now he lives on me, that's the way it's meant to be. It's not for everyone, but this is how we do it.

4 comments:

  1. Ok you just describe Muireann :) she is very happy, sociable if she is in my arm :)
    She nap on me and she is nearly 1... god when time pass.
    she now start to be happy to explore the house but i must alway be very close :)

    What fabric is your wrap ? look a bit strechy no ?

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  2. Yes, it's a cotton/lycra mix, 4 way stretch. I bought the fabric in a dressmakers shop and cut it to size. I loved all the cuddles with Charlie, and didn't realise how quick they grow up and toddle off! Make the most of it while you can! Thanks for reading! x

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  3. Sounds like my house. :) I have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old. My 1 yr old is still very much attached. If my husband isn't around I have to wear him in the Ergo while I cook (he never liked the sling).

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  4. that is beautiful. I wish I had cuddled my baby more when she was still a newborn. but I too didn't have a buggy, wore her everywhere and now she's an independent little madam.

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