Friday, 30 March 2012

Elimination Communication Update!


(Written on 28 March, Noah is  almost 9 months old, we're doing EC since his first week, only this week amped it up a bit)

Today was the third day Noah went without nappies at home. The warmer weather helped, as I had him bottomless most of the time, and we spent the days in the garden, walking to the local park/shops, chilling out in general.
Apart from a couple of missed wees (the best one being - him in the sling, smiling at me as he weed on me in the park) I got them all, always get the poos. He did a few little "warning" wees, a few drops on my lap, or the carpet, when I was being lazy, and then I'd hold him somewhere to wee, and he would.

I had him sans nappy three nights ago, on a fleece and it went fine, two nights ago he wore a nappy and woke up dry, last night I was lazy and left the nappy on and it had a good few wees by morning. Tonight I'll just have him bare-bummed on his fleece in the bed, a muslin at the ready, but I'm holding him over a potty whenever he rouses. I just sit up, bring the potty between my legs, lift him into my arms, lying back on me, and he wees, then CAREFULLY remove potty and put the still-sleeping baba back down. We've had a few potties kicked over, and they're not pretty.
He's been feeding more as he has his third tooth coming up, though the amount of drool he loses should negate the urine output, but it doesn't. So there are many more wees to catch these days.

In the garden he can pee anywhere. If we're sitting on a picnic blanket and he needs to go, I'll just hold him over the grass. I'm really relaxed about where wees happen but poos need a toilet; our downstairs one is just inside the back door, so is really handy.
He only poos once a day - though in the past week it's been twice some days I think, due to him scoffing EVERYTHING he can get his pudgy hands on. Brown bread and cheese, homemade pizza, crackers, grapes, apple, breadsticks, popcorn (no salt), you name it, if we're eating it, he must too. He hates banana though, fecks it away as soon as he touches it. His poos are easy to see coming, a tensing abdomen, grunts and red watery eyes.
He will always hold his wee and poo until he is able to do them in comfort, won't let them out while we're walking to a toilet for example. If Charlie gets inquisitive and comes over for a look, the elimination will stop until Noah feels "safe" again. I have to ask the others to close the bathroom door for us sometimes, if there's too much noise/people walking in and out Noah won't eliminate. The sphincter is shy, as Ina May says (another incorrect quote). Just like we adults need privacy for our elimination, or at least a bit of peace, babies do too. (Women in labour will seize up too if they feel unsafe, it's all connected.)
I talk to him about his eliminations too, so he is getting to know the words for things. He's always known "poo-poo" and "pee-pee", as the cue words. But I'm now talking to him about the poo-poo coming out his bum, and the pee-pee coming out his willy. I'll rub his tummy if he's ever constipated, and talk to him about his poo-poo and how it's sore. I explain when I'm rubbing Vaseline around his bum that this is to help the poo come out.

In the car and out of the house he usually wears a nappy, but I will try to get him to a toilet to eliminate. If he is asleep and wakes in the car needing to wee he will grizzle, then cry, and I'll say "Noah do pee-pee in nappy, mama change nappy later" and he stops crying (and wees). I've done this for months now, and it works. He needs to know it's ok to let it out in the nappy sometimes.
Charlie will often tell me Noah needs to wee/poo, and I've stopped questioning how he knows, I just bring Noah to the potty/toilet. 8 times out of 10 Charlie is right, even if the timing is "off" by my logic. I'm realising my "logic" is my hindrance when it comes to parenting these babies, so I'm better off working on autopilot. I often miss a wee when Noah stirs in my arms, I think "That might be a wee coming, no, it's too soon, he's only done one recently" then Bang! Pee on my lap, every time.
You really can't be lazyass doing this. There's a lot of hoisting your ass up off the sofa to get the baby to the potty. I really prefer being outdoors for that very reason. I've had days when I've been tired/out of sorts and really resent doing EC. It's a lot of hassle. For what? No nappy rash, less money spent on nappies (I use only disposables), there are loads of excuses not to do it.
But it's like most practises in Attachment Parenting, once you've read up on it, tried it and loved the extra bond you get with your baby, the reward and satisfaction in meeting their needs, you are loathe to give it up. Even though everyone thinks I'm mad. Even though barely anyone I know does it. It's like I've gone over the fence into this new world of EC and I can never go back and pretend it's not there.
Once Noah is crawling I presume he will crawl to the potty, I've heard babies do. He is getting better at signing "pee-pee" - though the sign is similar to "all gone" and waving "hi" which he is doing in abundance. So he could be doing one of three things, and if I get it wrong I've got a pee stain on my top for the rest of the day. Hence I'm wearing light layers in dark colours, they dry quickly and barely show the stains.
Coupled with that, he has developed a fascination with taps and water, so every trip to the bathroom takes three times as long, as he has to have the tap on, and splash and wave his hand in the watery sink, kicking and squealing with excitement. People must think this EC is a very messy business, seeing us come out of the toilet, him with wet sleeves to the elbows, me with splashes all over my face and top.
Just another glamorous side to motherhood.

1 comment:

  1. My 11-month-old never liked banana, I used to offer it to him every day, I'd try it in little stalks, or in slices, or in big chunks in his hand, but no, he fecked it over the side of the high-chair every time. So at 9 months or so I gave up offering it. Up until today, and now he is actually eating it!!! So give up on it for a while then offer again in a couple of months and he might approach it like a new food again and actually like it. I'm delighted to now have another food to offer as sometimes I am racking my brains. Niamh S. PS love your EC post I have read lots on it and know someone else online who does it but I never tried it, I just couldn't be arsed, cuz I am lazy. But I know had I done it I'd feel the same as you - couldn't go back, as it's so cool. I am just too lazy. I toyed with the idea of doing it with this baby but i never got around to trying. Kind of regret it

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