Thursday, 29 November 2012
Mental Lentil Burgers
It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a goddamn lie!
There's nothing mental about these burgers!
But for those of you who'd like the recipe anyway, here goes:
Put red split lentils (they cook faster so I tend to buy only these nowadays) and water in a large saucepan. I think I used about 3 mugfuls of water and 2 of lentils. No need to wash/soak these, just add to the cold water and leave to come to the boil. Forget about them while you watch "The Santa Clause" for a while. Run in to find kitchen full of steam, lentils overcooked (mushy and falling apart) and water nearly all gone. Stir and continue to cook on low heat to evaporate off the rest of the water. Add a bit of salt. Add some oregano and Herbes de Provence, and some black pepper, and grind in some chilli flakes. Grate in a large clove of garlic. In a blender blitz the last few crackers in the packet and the crusts from breakfast toast (or be fancy and use breadcrumbs), add crumbs to the lentils, marvel at how they soak up all the excess liquid. When it's reached doughy stage, heat olive oil in a frying pan, lots of olive oil, like about 2mm all over. Remove your rings, wet your hands (a new trick I learned, and wish I'd known sooner) and roll dough into golf-ball-sized balls. Laugh at the word "balls" like a pre-teen. Press the balls (ha!) onto the hot pan with your hand. Fill the pan with the balls (ha ha!), pretend you're making falafel, as these are essentially the same thing. Turn them when browned on one side.
(While these were cooking I put broccoli florets and noodles on to boil together in another saucepan of water, took about 5 mins, drain and toss in butter and soy sauce)
Assemble in bowls / plates and feed to hungry baby, boy and Dada, with ketchup for dipping the mini-burgers.
Feel smug that you cooked a meal with protein, carb and vegetable, that everyone liked. Photograph the left-overs and blog about it.
Tonight's meal will probably be toast-based after all this effort.