Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Keeping it real

I've just been preparing a few blog posts for the next week or two, blathering on about makeup,  clutter, food etc. But they aren't indicative of what's going on in my head, or heart, so I wanted to do a "keeping it real" to touch base with you all.

Most of my friends have one, two or three kids under the age of six. I meet them a few times a month, the kids play, we mamas drink tea and chat. It's lovely, it's great to share stories and experiences, laugh, and feel like I'm not the only one going through the madness of mothering.

But I have days and days to fill. Days when the tv does all my talking, where I hide in the kitchen and hope that kids shout won't turn into a scream, pulling me back into the fray. Days where getting us all up and out seems like too big a task, tomorrows plans too daunting, toast for every meal, no shower for me for two, three, four days.

They say it will get easier, that I'll wish for these days back, but I can't see an end in sight. My home won't be empty, my kids are home-schooled, I'll be the one they need for the next few years at least. It's completely overwhelming.

I'd get a cleaner, only in order to clean there's so much tidying to be done. I'd get up and out for walks if my toddler didn't hate the wind in his face so much. I'm really at a low point, summers over, heading into the darker days, yes with more friends than ever, but we're all just managing our own stuff.

I want a self-cleaning house, self-cooking food, and a holiday with my family. I want a car of my own, a steady income, a live-in friend and a bath.

Does anyone else feel like this?
Nee x


8 comments:

  1. ah Nee! I feel the same some days. Don't leave the house syndrome can set in her eon a Friday and it's only work that drags me out on a Monday. A live in Friend sounds great!! An au pair?

    I love your "rant". I have visions of you all purdie and experimenting with your lovely hair before heading out somewhere exciting but simple with your boys. You really need to take a few pictures of the mess and the no showers (it's been 3 days here and I've been out in public trying hard not to smell near anyone). Up and down. I don't honestly think it gets easier....different. Being child was hard work, being a teen was torture and misunderstood. I'm not sure I'm over that one tbh. still feeling annoyed with the world and misunderstood.

    The good days or moments get us through. Friends are on facebook- at your beck and call. For anything more specific you can start a facebook group and recruit helpful opinions.

    Hugs. chin up. Hope it gets better for you....and some magic maid shows up to do a clean up. Do you really have to tidy for a cleaner? Is a tidier not a possibility? I don't need a cleaner for the same reasons.

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    1. Thanks so much Aideen, it's great to open up like this sometimes and hear you're not alone. Everyone finds it tough, I know, and I think it's great for us all to be honest about it, that way we can actually get solutions. I've started meeting up with a friend regularly to share childcare while the other cooks/cleans. It's only a few days in but I'm already feeling so much more supported and positive about the coming months. It's a mini "village" of 2 but it's a start!

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  2. Yes! I so needed to read something like this right now! I was feeling like a failure of a mother after my son and i had a huge row...over maths... The house is a wreck, the washing machine is not working properly and i've a shit load of work to do for my paid work before i hit bed tonight. When. Will. It. Get. Easier? Tomorrow, i hope!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Colette, the great news I found is that each day starts afresh and we can make it whatever we want. Hope your "tomorrow" went better too. It feels great to share and hear others are in the same boat.
      Thanks for commenting x

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  3. Heck to the yes! Says she who snuck a shower yesterday while the toddler was confined to the travel cot, but who has forgotten what colour the countertop is. I don't have any solutions for you but I want you to know you're not alone. xxx

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    1. Thanks a million Caitriona, I see my countertops twice a week in a good week. But my kids see me! I suppose that's all that matters in the long run. Thanks for reading and understanding x

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  4. Hi Niamh i have enjoyed reading your blog for quite a while, not always agreeing with you on topics but really enjoying your honesty and humour. I have four kids under seven and I am just back to working three days a week...I find I have to dig deep in myself to find the patience and love when things get hectic and overwhelming. Its hard to keep heart..my house is not always clean or well organized but in the bigger scheme of life these things don't matter that much to me. We are all in the same boat...

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    1. Thanks Aideen, these are certainly challenges all parents of young kids face, working or not, home edding or not. Hats off to you with your family and job, you must be superwoman to keep that balance! Lovely to hear from you x

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